I don’t really want to leave that last post as the top post on my blog for ages, so let’s talk about Fibromyalgia.
Fibro has two primary symptoms. The first is central nervous system sensitization. I suck at explaining, so let’s take an analogy. You ever do something stupid, like slice your finger open or skin your knee, only you don’t quite notice at first? And then you look down and see blood and your brain’s like, “Oh, hey mate, thanks, I knew I was forgetting something” and the pain kicks in and it hurts like a bitch?
Wait, that’s a shitty analogy. You ever been really anxious, and like, sure you’re forgetting something? So you put your keys in your pocket and you walk outside and you pat your pocket to check if you have your keys and you walk to the car and you pat your pocket again and you get in and start the car and you drive a bit and you pat your pocket and holy shit, the keys aren’t there!! You forgot your– wait, no, false alarm, you’re driving, your keys are in the ignition.
Essentially, to my understanding, my brain’s like that, but with pain. My nerves send the same signals everyone else’s nerves send: touch recorded in upper arm region, intensity foo, surface area bar. My brain, however, is super anxious, as though I were gushing blood and it needed to make sure I really feel the pain so I won’t do it again. So it records “HIGH ALERT! UNLEASH PAIN!!” and I pull away from what was actually just a gentle grip.
The other main symptom is fatigue. Right now, as I write this, it’s 7:15 in the morning. My alarm went off at 5, and despite having an alarm that makes me turn on the light and scan a barcode before I can shut it off, I laid back down and almost went back to sleep. I got up, though, and took my shower, and I had to sit on the toilet for a few minutes to get my strength back after standing for so long. I almost had a nap in the car (my husband drove today), and as I type this, my bones ache with exhaustion just thinking about it. I went to bed last night around 8:30; it took a while to fall asleep, but I slept soundly. I’m just tired. All the damn time. I don’t let it stop me from doing things, but I do them tired. Physically tired, not just groggy.
I’m not really going anywhere with this, I just wanted to share.