The spirit is willing…

I have so many ideas bursting out of my head on my daily commute that I end up feeling restless, excited, eager to work on things. There’s the secret project, soon to be debuted on my author website which is soon to be debuted; there’s the endless stream of costumes for Radiant Vanguard (I think I’ll make my own wig for Laika!), and parties to plan, and I need to update WordPress for both RV and my author site, and conventions to plan for, and a novel to write (I have a much better idea what I’m doing with this book now)….

But no sooner do I get out of the car than the wave of exhaustion hits me. I find myself with downtime or lunchtime at work and would rather hide under my desk waiting for the next emergency to break over me like a wave, the next frantic spurt of dam-building. I find myself preferring to sit on the couch and watch reality TV than even think about setting up my sewing machine (thankfully, we cancelled our cable, so instead I poke at the internet idly until bedtime). I find that rather than spring eagerly from bed in the morning, I’d rather go back to sleep and work be damned.

Friends, I am suffering from a terrible blight: burnout.

The past two weeks at work have been chaos, last-minute fixes and lulls in between where I can do nothing but wait to see if the latest fix is the last one. There’s a code freeze in place next week so if we don’t get things fixed now they won’t be for a good month. I don’t do so well with last-minute fixes, and this is wearing on me like nothing else 😦 I’ll be fine eventually, I know, but in the meantime, I want to do so many things I just don’t have the energy for.

It’s looking up though! Next week can’t possibly be as bad, what with the code freeze and all.

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2 Responses to The spirit is willing…

  1. Firedrake says:

    Long working hours are a sign of management failure

    Oddly, managers rarely believe this.

    • yamikuronue says:

      My hours are capped to 40, as a contractor, they’re just stressful since I have to get everything done without going over hours 😦

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