Shit.

So for whatever reason, Kendandra just decided to walk out of my life. Supposedly temporarily. I’ve had exactly one word from him in the past two days; others have had more, but not much, and he’s made it clear he’s not open to being contacted in any way.

I’m getting really tired of being used and discarded.

I’m also not doing well at all, because this isn’t the first time this has happened and last time I ended up sinking into a 9-month depression/relapse. I’m handling this better than last time, but I don’t…

Fuck.

I’m getting married and he was going to be a part of that.

I just don’t have words. I’ve got Bitten pre-written for a few more weeks but I just…

I don’t have words.

Apparently my feelings don’t matter. I am owed nothing after all I did for him, not even an explanation. My anxiety attacks don’t matter, this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach is meaningless. All the good times are worthless. I am nothing to him, not even worthy of–

I just can’t. I just can’t put this into words.

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2 Responses to Shit.

  1. Firedrake says:

    Ah, hell. Sympathies.

    I am not going to pretend to be able to fix your problems. I will say that something I have taught myself is that if I am going to treat other people as conscious beings, I cannot arrogate to myself all blame for their actions.

  2. If I knew a way to help I would, but I don’t so… I’ve got nothing. Sympathy and Empathy I suppose. Not much beyond that.

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