Dogs and Goddesses: Chapter 6 part 3: Laptops and Lemonade

“Yes!” Daisy cried as she popped open the laptop.

Yes! The readers cried as they noticed the computer coming forth.

“What’s that?” Shar asked.

“Kammani’s laptop,” Daisy said, hitting the power button

Apparently gods use laptops now. Nifty! but the real question is: Mac or PC? I could see the Muses using macs, but I feel like the majority of gods are Windows users. Except Hades. I feel like he uses Red Hat.

“All her diabolical plans are in the recent documents file.”

Recently opened documents are stored in registry keys on Windows and not at all in most linux GUIs. So…. mac? Is that a mac thing?

Oh. Unity stores them in a file and displays them much the way Windows does. So Ubuntu later than or equal to 11.04 (when they switched from proper GNOME to Unity)?

(more likely the author has no idea about how thing are stored and is thinking of browser history, but I’mma go with Unity)

Shar angled the laptop to look at the skull and crossbones on the back.

“That’s Mina’s computer.”

Fair enough. I would have pegged Mina for a mac user though.

“Crap. What do you think her password would be?”

I have to remind myself that Daisy’s a “Web code writer”, not a proper IT geek, so she probably doesn’t have a bootable “fix-it” disk with, say, Puppy Linux on it stored on her keyring at all times. Still, for shame! Why try guessing when there’s probably a half dozen ways to break into it without a password?

“Don’t worry about it.” Shar [said]. “The answers aren’t in there.”

Daisy huffed. “Look, computers are real. Goddesses are not. So my working theory is. . . con artists.”

“Sam burned a hole in somebody’s forehead this morning.” Shar said. “With his finger.”

Is it just me or does Shar sound a bit… brainwashed? In shock? Out of it? in this portion of the book?

Anyway, they discover that the wall carvings look like them: Gen and Bun are labelled “fertility” and “birth” (gen as in origin, bun as in “breeding like bunnies”?). Abi-simti and Humusi (Daisy) aren’t labelled with a sphere, and neither are Sharrat and Iltani (Daisy’s coworker Vera). Minawirtum turns out to be Mina’s password! And Daisy…. immediately shuts down the laptop and leaves, presumably leaving the laptop behind. That was. Worth it?

In the next section, we’re back to Kammani and Mina! Okay, apparently what I didn’t get before is that there’re two temples: one made of the lower half of the original temple, which is a school building and is where the dog obedience course was held, and one which is made of the top half of the original temple, which is Shar’s house. Kammani is kind of peeved about the lack of complete temple, but rapidly puzzles out that Sam must be in the other half since he rises at the top floor of the temple when he incarnates.

Goddesses didn’t need things; this world was all wrong. Even her priestesses Bun and Gen, practically bouncing out of their bikinis, were more interested in keeping a water dish full for Baby in her tiara and Ziggy in his camouflage bandanna than they were in providing for Kammani.

Okay…she’s an ancient Sumerian goddess. Why is she so body-negative and critical of other women? That’s a fairly new development, this intrinsic hatred we’re taught to feel toward other women. Why does she care that they’re bouncing out of their bikinis? I guess she picked that up pretty fast from the culture of today :/

Mina puts sunscreen on the dogs, then offers to do the same for Kammani:

“I am the Goddess of the Light,” Kammani snapped. “I do not burn.” Touch me and die.

So not into the homoeroticism yet I guess? Lol. She swears to fix the ozone layer when she rules the world.

These people had made their world a mess, but their drink was delicious. She’d be keeping lemonade when she ruled again.

That’s basically the end of chapter six, but the scene continues into seven, so I’ll continue on a bit, this post is kind of short. Mina’s still trying to slander The Three so she can usurp their favored position. She say that since Abigail left town when she was small, maybe she has no powers?

“She has power,” Kammani said, remembering all that juicy, untapped virginal energy.

Well, she learned homoeroticism pretty fast.

Kammani also insist that Daisy’s mom isn’t allergic to dogs, a point Mina was trying to use to deride her bloodline as weak. Mina insists that none of the three have any dreams in life, but Gen corrects her: Sharrat has her book.

Mina change the subject to more practical matters:

“How will the people come?”

“They called me,” Kammani said, annoyed. “I am the goddess. They must come. They are born to serve me.”

“Yeah, that changed,” Mina said. “People don’t live to serve anymore. They have free will.”

Kammani frowned. “What?”

“Free will changed everything.”

All the lol’s. No wait, I take that back:

“You need something to get people’s attention. Like ‘Thin Thighs in Thirty Days’ or ‘Make a million Dollars at Home in Your Spare Time’ or ‘Get Younger-Looking Skin’.”

ALLL the lol’s.

Next time: Mina Smackdown Central!

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5 Responses to Dogs and Goddesses: Chapter 6 part 3: Laptops and Lemonade

  1. Brin says:

    Oh. Unity stores them in a file and displays them much the way Windows does. So Ubuntu later than or equal to 11.04 (when they switched from proper GNOME to Unity)?

    I more or less have such an Ubuntu and I haven’t seen any Recent Documents from Ubuntu itself (though I might just not have spotted it). When I think Recent Documents, I think of the drop-down list in OpenOffice.

  2. Pingback: Deconstruction Round Up, March 30th, 2013 | The Slacktiverse

  3. Firedrake says:

    Yeah, most gods use Windows because it’s the safe corporate choice. Dream uses a Mac, of course, and the various tinker-gods have put miscellaneous Linuxen on their machines. Unfortunately that includes Loki, so the penguin’s getting a bit of a bad rep.

    I usually use Knoppix for my “data recovery” tasks.

    I fear we have to file this one under Did Not Do The Research. Sure, don’t go into detail (“nobody will be admitted during the terrifying hard drive searching scene”), but if you-the-author have a character who can talk tech and you don’t, find someone who does and run it past ’em.

    (I’m a bit concerned that we’re into chapter 6 before Daisy’s even thought about anything technical. Maybe she’s in the wrong job? If it’s “just a job” rather than something she loves…)

    • yamikuronue says:

      I keep waiting for the author to confuse web dev with web design. If she’s a web designer who knows a little bit of code her thought processes would make more sense to me.

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