Easily Amused 20&21

Just for you adoring fans, I managed to crank this out on my lunch hour. Let’s get cracking, shall we?

Chapter twenty

Mindy is grinning and bouncing and totally being a bitch:

“[Chad] just couldn’t believe you’d be out on a Friday night. Aren’t you usually in your jammies watching Netflix right about now?” She spoke as smugly as if she’d caught me joining Weight Watchers.

First of all, fuck you, Weight Watchers is a perfectly respectable way to lose weight, and losing weight is nothing to be ashamed of. Secondly, fuck you, watching movies on Netflix is a perfectly legitimate way to spend an evening.

Lola handles it well; she simply introduces her date. Mindy preens and primps and shows off and asks for more details; Ryan plays along, calling Lola “hon” and putting his arm around her.

“I was really hoping we’d meet before the wedding.”

“You’re getting married?” Mindy was stunned.

“He’s talking about your wedding,” I said.

I don’t know what to make of this exchange. First of all, sick burn, but then, it’s only set up by how “dumb” Mindy is, and she’s been shown to be anything but, so I’m not sure I buy it at all.

“You’re coming to our wedding?” Chad said. “Cool. It’s going to be a hell of a party, man.” He put his hands in his jeans pocket and then stuck his fingers through his belt loops like he was the lead dancer at a hoedown.

I think I like Chad. He seems laid back and cool.

conversation-wise he hadn’t evolved much since high school. He had a few key phrases. Things were “cool” and “wicked” and “sweet”. Occasionally he’d even say “bummer”

Lola hates him, so it’s settled, he’s pretty ok.

Mindy was hoping to fix Lola up with Chad’s cousin:

Chad’s cousin was a forty-year-old, never-married geek whose idea of scintillating conversation was debating which Star Trek captain was the best.

And there is nothing wrong with that.

(PS: it’s Sulu)

(seriously, he captained a ship called Excelsior. How fucking cool is that?! Lola didn’t specify Enterprise captain, after all…)

Ryan is apparently a super awesome actor. I will now picture him as BBC moriarty (linked due to spoilers, you should watch the show if you haven’t).

Lola tries to get out of Dinner With Mindy by mentioning that they have reservations (while looking down her nose at their undisclosed plans):

I was sure Chad and Mindy were going to a fish fry, or even worse, to get a butter burger at the local custard stand.

I dunno.. those butter burgers look friggan delicious.

They were one of those couples that started out in high school and held onto their favorite haunts.

And there is nothing wrong with that.

(Mm… Panda Express…)

Mindy, meanwhile, claims to love Thai food, and insists Chad does as well. Chad, by now, knows better than to protest. She does win one thing:

“Should we drive together?” Mindy asked.

I had the answer for that. “His car only has two seats. It’s a Jaguar.”

Hooray for defining your self worth by your boyfriend’s car!

Chapter twenty-one

Point for Lola: once in private (in the car) she expresses her dislike of the situation to Ryan, who sympathizes but admits he didn’t want to come off as rude by not inviting them. He’s got a positive spin though: he plans to lay groundwork for the “Big announcement” at the wedding.

Another point to Lola: she outright admits that she doesn’t like the idea of lying to everyone and wants to call it off. Ryan sits back and tells her it’s totally up to her, though he’d like to be her date either way if she’ll have him. So far so good!

“It’ll be hard to decide,” I said. “It all sounds so good.”

Across from me Chad flipped through the pages and sighed. “I was just thinking none of it sounds good.” He wrinkled his nose. “Prawns in yellow curry. Ginger trout. Pork eggplant. Yuck. Don’t they have any regular food?”

So much for “Chad loves thai as well”. Mindy tries to come off as higher-class than she is, and I almost sympathize with her desperate attempts to play off their fast-food-friendly lifestyle as being entirely Chad’s doing so she doesn’t seem so objectionable in front of someone who is clearly used to more “sophisticated” dining choices, except for the fact that I hate her and all she stands for.

“It’s tough being the younger one. Always with the comparisons. Why can’t you be more like your sister? Lola always got straight As. Lola always came home on time.”

[…]

“I’m a second child too,” Ryan said.

Calling it now: Ryan x Mindy, One True Pairing.

Anyway, Lola and Mindy get into it, verbally throwing down across the table. Ryan, thankfully, declines to take sides, instead trying to help Chad find something he’ll like by explaining the flavors and spices to him. Which is actually pretty nice of him, though it comes off as an excuse to brag about how worldly he is.

Ooh, embarrassing story time! Mindy met Chad when she knocked him into a pool on accident and they started dating probably out of guilt. Chad dropped out of college, it seems, and when he tries to be affectionate, Mindy snaps at him that he’ll mess up her hair and then changes the subject abruptly. Is she only marrying him because she knows he’ll have her and it’s the safe option? That’s the vibe I’m getting.

Lola teases Mindy, who calls her sense of humor juvenile before noticing both men laughing at her jokes. Yeah, pretty sure Lola’s winning this round.

“I’d love some coffee, thank you,” I said, knowing that neither Mindy nor Chad drank coffee — they weren’t that grown-up yet.

And there is nothing wrong with that.

(I’m a tea drinker).

A few pages later, the teasing starts to become weight-shaming. I’m just going to skim over this section, but it involves Mindy trying to one-up Lola by claiming she’s trying to gain weight and Lola informing the waitstaff that Mindy needs a large piece of cheesecake so she can put on a few pounds.

Meanwhile, I sipped my adult coffee, no sugar, no cream, a beverage devoid of calories.

Except for the three shots of whiskey you added to make it “adult”, that is.

(kidding).

She decides to announce her engagement at Mindy’s wedding because it’s all about power and she’s a brand new Lola or some crap to that effect. She’ll set her wedding date on Mindy’s birthday.

Oh hey, Brother Jasper! The much more interesting character! He says… she’s “needed at home”? What? oh god, is Hubert injured!? Oh no, that’s the end of the chapter! Well crap.

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7 Responses to Easily Amused 20&21

  1. Jarred H says:

    Lola hates him, so it’s settled, he’s pretty ok.

    You might want to set your standards a little higher. Lola seems to hate everyone.

    Mindy tries to come off as higher-class than she is, and I almost sympathize with her desperate attempts to play off their fast-food-friendly lifestyle as being entirely Chad’s doing so she doesn’t seem so objectionable in front of someone who is clearly used to more “sophisticated” dining choices, except for the fact that I hate her and all she stands for.

    I admit that I’m giggling at the thought of Thai food being deemed a “sophisticated” (which I assume is code for “high class” or “snooty”) dining choice. I adore Thai food and while the dining room at The King and I is beautiful, I’d still consider it a place that average people eat at.

    For me, the word “sophisticated” represents a fancy French restaurant that has guest chefs over from France and charges $30 for a dinner that would cost $15 at most other restaurants (and you’d probably get larger portion sizes at the other restaurant).

    And I think that if I ever got the impression that someone felt they had to justify their “less sophisticated” dining choices to me, I’d suggest we blow whatever restaurant we were at and go to Five Guys instead. (Unless the person had a peanut allergy, of course.)

  2. Firedrake says:

    It’s all about the status flags for Lola, isn’t it? I bet she’d be in favour of bringing back sumptuary laws. Eat the right things, drive the right sort of car, have a “grown-up” attitude…

    Where I live (southern UK), Thai is mostly pub food and occasional restaurants, Chinese and Indian are takeaway fare (and so are burgers or fish&chips), and anywhere bothering to advertise itself as “a French restaurant” is probably overpriced because so much French cooking has been absorbed into English anyway (a bit like the English language really). Vietnamese or Japanese would be pretty unusual but not un-heard-of. German basically doesn’t exist.

    • yamikuronue says:

      Replying to this and to Jarred’s comment above: This place has the fancy black menus and tablecloths and stuff, it’s apparently trying to come off as fancy. I’ve seen Chinese being both takeaways and being nice sit-down places; I’ve not been to a Thai place before, but I’ve been to an Indian place that passed itself off as rather fancy (and passed a lot of cheap curry takeaways when I lived in the UK).

      • Jarred H says:

        Ah, okay. I guess it’s partly weird for me because I go to all kinds of restaurants, from greasy spoons to places that have tablecloths (some of those places then cover the tablecloth with a layer of white paper and give you crayons to write and draw on said paper with, what should we make of that? 😉 )and nicely printed menus. I don’t really consider any of them fancy. Yeah, some of them cost a bit more than others.

        But in the end, I pick where I want to eat based on the food I want and what place (in my opinion, at least) does that particular food well. Not what the dining area or menus look like, which as Firedrake noted, seems to be what matters to Lola.

  3. Jarred H says:

    Though I will admit I’ve chosen restaurants on the basis of where I know there to be a lot of cute waiters working.

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