Time-travelling Warlocks

As reported here:

LIMBAUGH: Anyway, so this evil villain in the new Batman movie is named Bane. And there’s now discussion out there as to whether or not this was purposeful, and whether or not it will influence voters. It’s going to have a lot of people. This movie, the audience is going to be huge, lot of people are going to see the movie. And it’s a lot of brain-dead people, entertainment, the pop culture crowd. And they’re going to hear “Bane” in the movie, and they are going to associate Bain [Capital, the venture capital firm that Romney ran]. And the thought is that when they start paying attention to the campaign later in the year, and Obama and the Democrats keep talking about Bain, not Bain Capital, but Bain, Romney and Bain, that these people will think back to the Batman movie –”Oh yeah, I know who that is.”

I’ve got this story in my head now, a story about time-travelling Warlocks from a Republican future, a dystopia along the lines of 1984, where if you’re not white, the right kind of Christian, and straight, you’re put in concentration camps, and where women aren’t allowed out in public (which is fine because we’re too busy having SO MANY BABIES!!! because birth control of all kinds, including abstinence, is illegal).

See, their leader, Charlie Sheen, was supposed to be planting evidence in the early 90’s that will sink the Romney campaign via Batman villains, but he got lost along the way thanks to his incredible buildup of time sickness due to frequent travel. He’s coping using illegal narcotics to try and stave off the worst of the sickness, but he knows he has to do something to signal a pickup because he can’t control his time travel magic anymore, so he goes on an interview dropping words like “warlock” and “Vatican” in an attempt to create a record that will show up when someone goes looking through the archives for him (He’s bi-winning, he wins in the past and in the future), but meanwhile, back in the future, the library has been taken over by the State and the warlocks are getting desperate….

Best seller material?

(Sorry for the lack of posts; I’ve got a dozen post ideas brewing in my head, but I’ve been sleeping way more than usual and am struggling to find the time to write).

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2 Responses to Time-travelling Warlocks

  1. Flutterguy says:

    Wait. This makes sense. Everything Sheen has said is true!

    Of course you “can’t handle [his brain]”! He’s stared into the time vortex at the center of the universe. Everyone knows that makes you go mad, (or brilliant, but mostly mad). And what was his profession before becoming a time traveler? A rock star that performed exclusively on Mars. That apparently is a thing in the future. Don’t worry it will make sense then.

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