It wasn’t as simple as that, of course.
I had to go back and re-read part of chapter six when I hit that opening line. What wasn’t as easy? The last line of chapter six was:
“You can give yourself a few days to sort it out.”
So… I guess… it looks like… sorting it out wasn’t simple? But did anyone expect it to be given his deep and complex feelings? Getting over a breakup isn’t as simple as…..? Maybe it’s not as simple as him coming over? Maybe they get in a car accident?
Most things in life are more complicated than you’d anticipate. Like the first time I played a real game of tennis, which was in high school phys ed, embarrassingly enough.
Well apparently we’re off on a “Poor Lola” tangent, so I guess I’ll have to wait a few pages.
Oh! Here we go:
Because the boxes weren’t labeled, Hubert couldn’t just grab his clothes and toiletries and leave the rest for another time.
So it turns out Hubert has to bring ALL his stuff to Lola’s place instead of just a few things. Which was mentioned in Chapter six on page….. page…. um….
“I could call a locksmith”
No, after that…
“It’s just, I don’t know what to do now,”
He didn’t know what to do, but suddenly, I did. I grabbed a box off the top of one of the stacks. “No point in standing around here any longer. Why don’t you come back with me to my house? You can give yourself a few days to sort it out.”
Okay, there’s the idea, now after that…
Bollocks. Looks like it was never mentioned before.
Alright, alright, I’ll stop whining about the bad transition and keep reading. Yadda yadada, Hubert collects mustard, yadda yadda, teenager on a skateboard who reads books (and that’s so amazing because kids never read z0mg!).. oh look, a little “girls can’t do math” moment:
Math wasn’t my strong suit, but even I could see that the square footage of cardboard in this hallway would never fit in Hubert’s VW Beetle and my Honda Civic.
That’s… not even math. That’s spatial calculations and depth perception. We have whole segments of our temporal lobes dedicated to that function. It’s crude, but it’s usually accurate enough for simple calculations.
Taking several trips was an option, but the thought of shuttling back and forth made me tired.
Oh, that makes you tired? Try the thought of being homeless and losing the center of your life over a tiny mistake. Hubert suggests they call Piper, who has a minivan. Lola and Hubert lift (Lola complains) while Piper “cheerleads”. By the way, compare this:
Piper, with her 112-pound body and spaghetti arms, wouldn’t have been my first choice.
To three paragraphs later:
Piper, always the diva, put herself in charge of holding the door.
Lola herself admitted Piper can’t lift heavy things, but how dare Piper not lift heavy things! Lola snaps at Piper, so she puts a brick in the door and vanishes, causing Lola to mumble bitter things. Surprise! She fetched neighbors to help. Oh yeah, and worship Hubert. That’s definitely necessary. I feel like I’m being force-fed “HUBERT IS GOOD!” mind-control rays or something. Sheesh, I get it!
“I didn’t understand about place holders in math at all until you explained it. Now I get it.” The group nodded in unison, as if they’d all had trouble with place holders before Hubert came along.
A, I’m getting a creepy cult vibe, and B, “place holders”? Is that… algebraic variables? Or… something?
“My dad always said to work smarter, not harder.”
I had to hand it to Piper– she knew how to work it. In tenth grade she got me an extension on a paper by explaining to the teacher that my grandma was dying. I’d been far too shy and distraught to bring it up myself.
That’s not smart, or savvy, that’s just… common sense and/or bravery? I feel that strange embarrassed feeling I get when people insist I’m some kind of computer genius because I know how to make something bold in Word.
Senior year she got me a date for the homecoming dance with her boyfriend’s cousin, a guy from another school.
That’s not really savvy either, just… knowing people?
Piper knew how to get things done. Always planning, always doing. Meanwhile, I was like a leaf floating down the river, wherever life took me.
Now that’s just… kind of sad.