RSS Quickies: Bridesmaids cost HOW much?

Apparently, Real Simple magazine had someone write in saying “I’ve had to shell out over $1000 to be a bridesmaid and now they want me to chip in $50 for a group gift for the bride and I can’t afford it.”

Their answer?

Here’s an important lesson every woman must learn: Don’t agree to be a bridesmaid until you have a sense of what’s required of you, logistically and financially. If it’s a no-frills backyard affair, your time and money outlay should be minimal. If it’s a fancy destination wedding, expect the opposite. It’s too late for you to make these inquiries now. You’re stuck, and—I’m sorry to break the news to you—you need to pony up for a gift, just like all the other guests. Remember: You’re in this position because the bride is a close friend. Fifty dollars for a wedding present is a small price to pay for maintaining a valuable friendship.

What a load of bullshit. Fifty bucks has often been my food budget for the week. I would hate to have someone feel obligated to overspend on my behalf. Skip the group gift and go for something you CAN afford – maybe something homemade, or a pie recipe your grandmother left you, or something along those lines. That avoids both the perceived rudeness and the overspending.

Honestly, is this what we’ve come to now? Spending money is required for friendships? You only value someone if you spend cash you don’t have on them? And what about the bride’s friendship with the bridesmaid? Won’t the bridesmaid resent the bride a little for making her pony up cash?

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2 Responses to RSS Quickies: Bridesmaids cost HOW much?

  1. Jarred H says:

    Spending money is required for friendships?

    Honestly, it seems that some people do think like that.

    Won’t the bridesmaid resent the bride a little for making her pony up cash?

    This is the weird thing about or society. It’s accepted that “other people” are going to be self-absorbed and demanding brutes but “we” are supposed to suck it up and “be a good friend.” It’s not clear whether the notices of “hey, you’re one of the people allowed to be a self-centered and demanding brute rather than a self-sacrificing good friend” are sent by private mail or what.

  2. jenl1625 says:

    Seems to me that the kind of bride who asks her bridesmaids to pony up over $1,000 for all the rest *will* be offended if someone didn’t chip in the money for the group bridesmaid gift. (And she’ll cheap out – or go with something utterly useless – for her gifts to her bridesmaids.)

    A decent person, who would say “honey, I understand you can’t afford the $50, I just want you to be part of the day” wouldn’t have asked this woman to spend that much money on the dress, shoes, hair, bachelorette party, etc.

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