Bit of a downer week

Trigger warning: Mental health

I’m tired.

I know intellectually I’m exhausted beyond reason because I got to bed late and slept badly. But I’m emotionally tired as well. I have a $500 deductible before my car insurance kicks in; more and more keeps being demanded of me and I don’t know how well I can meet the demands. Today I found out my health insurance is raising the copay for specialists from $35 to $80.


Per visit.

This is after they’re taking over $100 per week for the insurance itself. I planned my budget carefully to maximize the impact of my money so I could offer my work at a lower rate and be hired more easily and now the rates of everything are increasing, everything I planned is costing me more and more each month, and every time I recalculate something else goes wrong. I haven’t even seen a doctor yet and I’m already despairing of ever being able to walk without pain. At least I’ll have a car, though I won’t be able to drive it if my car insurance premiums increase too much.

And it’s almost Christmas. Mostly that’s a happy thought. I like Christmas. But somewhere in the back of my mind I’m aware that seven years ago (damn, I feel old), this time of year, I was locked in a mental hospital.

I feel old, broken-down, and tired. And I have Frank Peretti to look forward to. Joy of joys.

I’ll make it. I always do. But it’ll be rough, and it won’t be pleasant, and just once I’d like to be able to relax on a weekend instead of frantically trying to make ends meet and get chores done.

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2 Responses to Bit of a downer week

  1. Jarred H says:

    $80 per visit!??! After a $100/week premium?!?!?!

    That’s outrageous!

    • yamikuronue says:

      You’re telling me. I need to get away from this staffing agency and get permanent employment so I can get real insurance rather than this joke of a plan.

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